It has been my experience that almost everyone knows how everyone else should act. Or at least they think they do. Often demanding of others goals that they themselves fail to achieve. Sometimes their “superior” knowledge expresses itself in the political demands of an ambitious politician, sometimes in “ticked off” columns of newspapers, sometimes at the family dinner table, and anywhere else these gifted people feel their knowledge is needed.
Exactly what I intend to do via this medium.
How do I dare to enter an activity that the sarcasm of the first paragraph seems to mock? Beats me, other than to note that I too am human. Also, I have 88 plus years under my belt, plenty of time to gather feelings about what truly is wise. Notice I used the word "truly” only in regard to my thoughts, not others. What can I say? So, for whatever it’s worth, here come a few ideas that may be wisdom in only my eyes.
I’ll start with one I stole from someone else.
Don’t sweat the small stuff. And its mate: Everything is small stuff. Don’t we all worry unnecessarily about way too much? I know I do. I don’t agree wholeheartedly with this advice, because not everything is small stuff. The loss of a loved one or a natural disaster, for example, are not small stuffs. On the other hand, a car that fails to start or someone swooping into a parking space you had identified for yourself are. If you train yourself to think that way.
If something can’t hurt you and it might help you, you should do it. How many opportunities are lost by failing to heed this advice. I developed this thought based on observations of an important older woman in my life. She had lived alone after her husband died, but craved contact with others. She had many friends. Often she’d like to go out to dinner with one or more of them. I suggested she give them a call and see if they were interested. Her response: “Oh, they’re probably busy.” No call was made and she dined alone in her apartment. Sad she didn’t heed these words of wisdom.
If you borrow something, return it promptly as soon as you are finished using it. And make sure it comes back in at least as good a condition as it was when it was lent. That means if something breaks, fix or replace it. If it gets dirty, clean it. This is a cardinal rule passed to my generation by my father.
It is never a mistake to praise someone’s dog, including mine. “Oh, what a cute puppy.” “That is a beautiful dog.” “Wow, you have him well trained.” Or a cat if you see it held in its owner’s arms. It makes the recipient of your comment feel good and often leads to interesting conversations.
Allow people to disagree with you without taking offense. This is not a sign of weakness on your part, nor does it indicate your stand is incorrect. It simply is a show of respect for the other person and a hope he/she will similarly respect you. But if that respect is not returned, it doesn’t matter. You will have taken the high road. Also, it permits alternative ideas to enter your mind. Maybe, just maybe, they include something you haven’t considered and allow you to improve your own thoughts.
Along the same lines, allow people to be less than perfect, at least according to your definition of perfect. It’s hard to be perfect. In fact, I think a perfect person would be horrible to be around. Some people, like Mother Teresa, come close to perfection. Others, like Hitler, come close to uniform evil. But most of us are somewhere in between. My guess is we’ve all done things we are not proud of and would love the opportunity to redo. So, when making up your mind about a person, look at the entire body of information you have about him/her. More often than not do they displease you? If so, it is reasonable to decide not to have a relationship with them. On the other hand, if their good points outweigh their bad, give them the benefit of the doubt while being cautious of areas where you disagree with them. Equivalently, don’t let a single incident of goodness by an evil person persuade you to give them your trust, and don’t let a single incident of poor behavior (in your eyes) cause you to shut out of your life a person who is mostly good.
Well, these are a few of my “wisdom” words, for whatever they’re worth.
Here’s another one. If any of these sound crazy to you, ignore them.
Exactly what I intend to do via this medium.
How do I dare to enter an activity that the sarcasm of the first paragraph seems to mock? Beats me, other than to note that I too am human. Also, I have 88 plus years under my belt, plenty of time to gather feelings about what truly is wise. Notice I used the word "truly” only in regard to my thoughts, not others. What can I say? So, for whatever it’s worth, here come a few ideas that may be wisdom in only my eyes.
I’ll start with one I stole from someone else.
Don’t sweat the small stuff. And its mate: Everything is small stuff. Don’t we all worry unnecessarily about way too much? I know I do. I don’t agree wholeheartedly with this advice, because not everything is small stuff. The loss of a loved one or a natural disaster, for example, are not small stuffs. On the other hand, a car that fails to start or someone swooping into a parking space you had identified for yourself are. If you train yourself to think that way.
If something can’t hurt you and it might help you, you should do it. How many opportunities are lost by failing to heed this advice. I developed this thought based on observations of an important older woman in my life. She had lived alone after her husband died, but craved contact with others. She had many friends. Often she’d like to go out to dinner with one or more of them. I suggested she give them a call and see if they were interested. Her response: “Oh, they’re probably busy.” No call was made and she dined alone in her apartment. Sad she didn’t heed these words of wisdom.
If you borrow something, return it promptly as soon as you are finished using it. And make sure it comes back in at least as good a condition as it was when it was lent. That means if something breaks, fix or replace it. If it gets dirty, clean it. This is a cardinal rule passed to my generation by my father.
It is never a mistake to praise someone’s dog, including mine. “Oh, what a cute puppy.” “That is a beautiful dog.” “Wow, you have him well trained.” Or a cat if you see it held in its owner’s arms. It makes the recipient of your comment feel good and often leads to interesting conversations.
Allow people to disagree with you without taking offense. This is not a sign of weakness on your part, nor does it indicate your stand is incorrect. It simply is a show of respect for the other person and a hope he/she will similarly respect you. But if that respect is not returned, it doesn’t matter. You will have taken the high road. Also, it permits alternative ideas to enter your mind. Maybe, just maybe, they include something you haven’t considered and allow you to improve your own thoughts.
Along the same lines, allow people to be less than perfect, at least according to your definition of perfect. It’s hard to be perfect. In fact, I think a perfect person would be horrible to be around. Some people, like Mother Teresa, come close to perfection. Others, like Hitler, come close to uniform evil. But most of us are somewhere in between. My guess is we’ve all done things we are not proud of and would love the opportunity to redo. So, when making up your mind about a person, look at the entire body of information you have about him/her. More often than not do they displease you? If so, it is reasonable to decide not to have a relationship with them. On the other hand, if their good points outweigh their bad, give them the benefit of the doubt while being cautious of areas where you disagree with them. Equivalently, don’t let a single incident of goodness by an evil person persuade you to give them your trust, and don’t let a single incident of poor behavior (in your eyes) cause you to shut out of your life a person who is mostly good.
Well, these are a few of my “wisdom” words, for whatever they’re worth.
Here’s another one. If any of these sound crazy to you, ignore them.
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