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Then They Came for Me

9/29/2021

We’re all familiar with it, the 1936 quote by German Pastor Martin Niemöller:

“First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a socialist. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out— because I was not a trade unionist. Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—because I was not a Jew. Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.”

Scary, isn’t it? When we hear it, our thoughts turn to Nazi Germany. Comforting to know it could never happen in our country, our great democracy.

Or could it?

It seems as if it is starting already. To be sure, not to the extent of those dark days in Germany in the 1930s and 40s. At least not yet.

But think about what has been taking place in our country. A little bit at a time.

The right to receive an education based on facts is being denied in several states. There remain attacks on the theory of evolution, with insistence that intelligent design be given equal or greater weight. Teaching anything negative about our founding fathers is not to be tolerated. Studies of racism are to be severely limited. One of our state legislators recently proposed a bill to eliminate any teaching at all of certain controversial subjects in public schools, including state colleges and universities. Medical professionals and scientists are denigrated.

They are coming for the intellectuals.

Restrictions on the right to vote are increasing. In moves aimed at the less fortunate in our community, reductions in voting hours and number of days of early voting, elimination of many drop boxes, and increased identification requirements are imposed. Consideration is given in legislatures in some states to empower them to take over elections and nullify results if there is “fear” for the integrity of the outcome, that is, if they think the vote is not going the right way. Especially the votes in large Democratic cities.

They are coming for the Blacks, the Hispanics, the poor.

The right to abortion is limited in one state after another in a contest to determine which state will be most restrictive. In Texas, citizen is pitted against citizen in a vigilante environment that allows fanatics to sue anyone they claim is abetting a person seeking an abortion and earn $10,000 dollars if they prevail—and face no risk if they fail.

They are coming for the independent women who believe their body is their own.

Legitimate media sources are accused of partisanship and lying. Reporters from media deemed unfriendly are banned from public meetings. Fake news is a new rallying cry.

They are coming for the honest journalists.

When will they come for you? Not possible, you say.

Are you a Muslim or of Asian heritage? Do you feel safe?

Are you an immigrant? Do you feel safe?

Are you a business owner enforcing a mask mandate? Do you feel safe?

Are you a teacher? Do you feel safe?

Are you poor? Do you feel safe?

Are you in disagreement with those in power? Do you feel safe?

The truth is no one can feel safe if the powerful are willing to go to any extent to deprive you of rights that courts will not protect.

That’s why every attempt to take any one individual’s rights must be rejected by every individual.

Otherwise they could come for us.

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Grief

9/22/2021

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Theodore Roosevelt lost his mother and his wife of three years on the same day, a double blow that devastated him. He had learned from the death of his father several years prior that staying busy helped.

Which is what he did. So much so that he seemed to eliminate all thoughts of those lost. In fact, he never again uttered his late wife’s name. In an autobiography he neglected even to mention his first marriage. When a young relative lost her mate, Roosevelt advised her to move forward and put him out of her mind.

Was Roosevelt correct in this approach to dealing with the death of a loved one?

Yes.

And no.

Yes, because it seemed to work for him. It fit his personality and allowed him to move on with his life. And, as we know, he moved on to great achievements and a second marriage that was long and loving.

No, because his daughter by his first marriage complained that he never spoke of her mother. And no because that approach might very well not be the best for a different individual. I wonder what his young relative thought about the advice given her.

In truth, I don’t think there is a “best” way to grieve.

But I do believe there is a “right” way.

There’s a right way for you. And a right way for me. But those two ways may be different, reflecting the fact that we ourselves are different.

If there is a general rule on how to grieve, it is there is no single rule on how to grieve.

At least hundreds of books have been written on the grieving process, including one by myself. Most have been written by “experts,” far more qualified than I. Except for personal experience. Some give a formulaic approach to grieving. Others are more appreciative of the differences I mentioned. My own includes in the Preface the statement, “…whatever works is good.”

Some, like Roosevelt, will carry suppression to an extreme. While it seems somewhat cold-hearted to me, I have to accept it was right for him, if not those around him.

Others will find comfort in their religion and the huge support they receive, many from their own faith.

Some will remove physical memories like clothes and photographs while others will keep at least some.

There is no set of actions that are right or wrong.

And there is no time limit on grief. People often tell the grieving they should be ready to move forward. It has been a year so get over it. The grieving don’t need to hear such talk.

In fact, I would recommend never telling anyone how to recover. Instead, find what the person seems to feel comfortable with and then support it. You might think their approach is wrong. You might not react in the same way, although it’s hard to know how you will handle such a situation until you actually have to deal with it. But if you really want to be helpful, not judgmental, supporting without preaching can be a marvelous comfort.

In short, the grieving can’t put a stopper on their feelings. It is possible to move on with life and still feel sad. It is okay to cry, yes, even if you are male, when the feeling of loss overcomes you. Even one, or five, or ten, or twenty years down the road.

But time does help, and eventually life goes on in concert with the memories.

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Only a Good Guy

9/15/2021

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In the 1970s and 80s I was a volunteer for a suicide prevention and crisis intervention agency. One day several of us were asked to go to an elementary school in a poor neighborhood and do what we could to help the kids deal with the loss of a classmate. He had been shot.

From the first moment of contact with the children, I felt out of my league. It didn’t take long to realize that, while they were upset by the situation, they weren’t surprised. It was nothing out of the ordinary. I learned that almost everyone there had had a family member or friend or neighbor who had been wounded or, even worse, killed.

By a gun.

Since that time decades ago the number of guns has grown substantially. In all communities.

In December 2015, CBS News reported Florida had a “staggering” 10.2 guns for every 1000 residents, or a total of 199,828 registered firearms.

A May 2017 report stated Florida had about 1,900,000 guns.

The number of guns sold in Florida in 2020 alone was 1,658,434.

Every day the figures in Florida grow.

With all these guns around, it seems obvious we must be safe. Right? After all, the NRA assures us that the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is by a good guy with a gun. Therefore, it’s clear we need more guns in the hands of good guys. All types of guns. Multiple numbers of guns. And we can be assured it’s only good guys who are buying them! Even though loopholes exist in background checks.

How well is that working out?

Almost every day the local newspaper carries multiple stories of shootings.

A man walking through a crowd after leaving a bar is murdered because someone he passed didn’t appreciate his intrusion.

A teenager is mowed down because she was in the wrong place at the wrong time and got in the way of a drive-by shooting.

An ex-wife is shot at her place of business.

Maybe all the good guys aren’t so good. Or maybe they aren’t as effective as we’d been told.

Furthermore, these good guys, by their stupidity and carelessness, not only shoot people but also contribute in multiple other ways to the mayhem.

A child kills a brother because he found a loaded gun around his home that had not been locked up and the ammunition not safely stowed at a different place.

Two children break into a home and find guns lying around which they use to engage in a standoff with police.

It seems to be that the more good guys there are with guns means the more deaths and injuries there are by guns.

What kind of twisted logic makes one think that if there are more guns there will be less gun violence?

Disney doesn’t think so. Their theme parks and others have a strict no gun policy and several weapons have been confiscated as tourists stream in.

Their policy is one founded in irrefutable logic. If there are no guns, there will be no shootings. It’s that simple.

I fear we as a nation will never recognize the logic of such thought, even though other countries have.

I love 90% of the Bill of Rights. The Second Amendment was a horrible mistake that has been reinterpreted and reinterpreted to allow a nation awash in firearms.

And the deaths and injuries and heartbreaks that inevitably follow.

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A Nation Divided

9/8/2021

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Following the lost election, which the Republican ex-President claimed was stolen from him, the loser plotted his strategy.

The crowds that had come to hear him speak during the campaign had been huge and adoring. They clung to his every word. They roared at his every suggestion. They promised fidelity to his every cause.

It had been an ugly election, a classic liberal versus conservative fight. Hatred peaked—on both sides. When a statement was made, the opposition attacked it with a venom that brought out the worst in people. The media divided into the two camps and used all their influence to sway the election in whatever way they considered right. Acts of violence occurred.

The ex-President was accused of spreading lies.

There were concerns the ex-President was acting from ego alone, not for the good of the country. Fear was expressed he would seek reelection after reelection in moves that essentially would create a king.

The ex-President would not accept his loss and was willing to destroy the party that had originally elected him.

* * * * *

It didn’t work out too well for the ex-President.

Theodore Roosevelt lost to William Howard Taft. Roosevelt espoused the liberal cause and the conservatives of the party backed Taft for a second term. Taft was in a tough spot because he too was a liberal. But he was caught up in the necessity to seek help from the conservatives of his party because he believed it was important not to allow Roosevelt to destroy the party and thought winning would accomplish that. It was the delegate election to pick the 1912 Republican presidential nominee that Roosevelt lost.

Roosevelt, unlike Taft, did not concern himself about the dangers of ruining his party and wound up running as the candidate of the newly formed Progressive party, nicknamed the “Bull Moose” party after a much earlier Roosevelt declaration that he felt “strong as a bull moose.” Taft headed the Republican Party ticket.

Both men lost to Democrat Woodrow Wilson who received 435 electoral votes while Roosevelt garnered 88 and Taft a measly 8. The popular vote went the same way but was much closer. Wilson received less than 50% of the total votes cast.

Obviously, the first part of this posting was an attempt to show similarity to what is our current situation. But I don’t want to make too much of that as there are important differences. Roosevelt, for example, was basically an honorable man.

However, I found it discouraging that human intolerance, greed, and lust for power has not diminished over the last century. In fact, I fear it has increased and those demonstrating it have gotten nastier.

Will we never learn?

* * *

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The Price of Honor

9/1/2021

8 Comments

Oh, how wonderful the last few weeks of 2020 were.

What? Have I forgotten the horrors of that year? Shutting down life. Giving up entertainment and restaurants. “Zoom” entering the lexicon. What in the world was wonderful?

Vaccines! That’s what.

Vaccines were no longer a hope, a promise. They were a reality and the great drive to inoculate began.

And how so many of us responded with enthusiasm! We oldsters first, among the most susceptible to the initial version of Covid. Day after day we attempted to sign up to get the shots, but the perfect time slot always disappeared as someone beat us to it. When finally we did snag a spot, we often waited in long lines for that little shoulder prick. We did it for ourselves and we did it for our community.

How glad we were when eligibility was extended rapidly to lower and lower age groups. We were assured if we could get 75% or 80% of the population vaccinated, we would lick this scourge that had taken over the world.

It was working. Shopping in stores, eating out, and other familiar pastimes slowly returned to our lives.

Suddenly things turned sour. We watched in horror as nationwide vaccination rates dropped from over three million a day to less than 500,000.

We learned that much of the population would not believe the danger of the virus. Some were young and, in the foolishness of that age we all exhibited when we were there, didn’t believe harm could come to them. Some were concerned about threats to pregnancy even though assured any potential danger was slight and stories of pregnant women taking ICU beds abounded. Others feared the vaccine had not been tested enough despite the fact millions had received the shot with few problems. And worst of all, there were untold numbers who received advice from anywhere except knowledgeable sources and suddenly the health of our nation became a political issue.

What happened is we never achieved herd immunity. As a result we informed the virus it was okay to mutate, and baby delta invaded our land.

And it makes me mad. The honorables did their job. But they had to pay the price for the others who didn’t. In many ways.

An obvious one is due to the rapid and huge surge of the delta variant. The honorables once again returned to the masks, social distancing, and other safety measures that had worked before. And then watched as many ignored all such precautions and all valid evidence as they continued to spurn the vaccinations that could return us to normalcy.

Then there’s the problem of hospital access. Because so many did not act honorably, those of us needing a hospital for non-Covid help either can’t get it or must endure long emergency room waits. I know of one case where the wait was 36 hours!

What about the toll on health care workers? They thought they were through the worst and then Covid came back with a vengeance. My daughter is with a county health department and must deal with the latest surge. She is angry because she feels this is a surge that didn’t need to happen.

Finally our community is being asked to cut back significantly on water usage because oxygen is needed to purify our water supply. But it’s also used for hospitalized Covid patients (over 90% of whom are unvaccinated) and there isn’t enough of it to satisfy both demands. So guess what. The honorables are being asked to sacrifice in order to save the lives of those who refused to do their part. I wonder how many of the unvaccinated (the ones not yet in hospitals) will attempt to conserve water—or is requesting that they do so taking away their freedom?

I’m tired of the self-centered non-thinking science-ignoring who refuse to act responsibly, that is, honorably. I’ll do my part to try to save them, but I’m mad that I have to

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Then They Came for Me

Grief

Only a Good Guy

A Nation Divided

The Price of Honor

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