Sure do. It’s that big red one over there. Got all sorts of the newest gadgets on it. Warns me if I’m swerving out of my lane or there are pedestrians in front or if I’m getting too close to another car. It’s a marvel!
Do you have any fear of flying?
Now why would you think that? That’s one of the safest ways to travel. Airplanes have many safety features and the air traffic control system is outstanding, letting them land in all sorts of bad conditions.
Would you walk across the Golden Gate Bridge?
Well, I’ve got to tell you I’d avoid going out to that commie San Francisco, but if I ever was so unlucky as to be there, I sure would walk the bridge. It’s really something, isn’t it?
Safe?
Of course.
I see you’re wearing a digital watch and you have a case for a phone. Do you make use of a lot of digital equipment?
Oh my, yes. It’s amazing what is available now, and more and more every year. I always get the newest gadgets. Imagine having this little box and being able to call anyone in the world from anywhere I happen to be, and then, when I feel like it, take pictures or videos or play games.
Watch much television?
Not as much as I’d like. I’m on my computer most of the time working with companies all over the country. Wonderful, isn’t it, what you can do with them these days. But, back to your question, I have an 80-inch TV with all sorts of special features. I can set up multiple screens and watch more than one program at a time.
Tell me about your home.
Oh, I’ve got the latest in everything. I can control all my lights, thermostat, and locks with my phone. I can check who’s at the door no matter where I am. You know, I even have an oven that has digital controls. It’s really great.
Sounds like you’re pretty much up to date with your equipment. Is there anything you’re looking forward to in the future?
Well, you know, I’m kind of excited about robots. I’d like to have a couple to do a lot of the dreary work, maybe to mow my lawn and to mix me a drink when I get home. Already got one of those round vacuums for my place. Unbelievable how it maps out your floor plan and returns to a charging station when necessary or done.
What do you think about the recent sending of two astronauts to the space station and their safe recovery a couple of months later?
Isn’t that marvelous? We’re the greatest nation in the world and we really showed them, didn’t we? And to think it was done by a private company. That’s the American way!
Any health problems?
Thanks for asking. Just a knee replacement. Feels great. It lets me do everything I was able to before.
I notice you’re not wearing a mask, and I know your car uses a lot of gas. Do you have any opinion about the mask requirement and climate change? Experts have weighed in on both.
It’s a bunch of nonsense, young man. You can’t trust science.