Let’s face it. I suck at marketing. All I want to do is write. Let the world beat its own path to my unsold book stockpile. The only problem is, the world doesn’t.
No worry. Help, it turns out, is everywhere, worming out of the woodwork of my dreams. It comes from my self-publishing company, from agencies and magazine publishers that have “found” and been taken by my latest book. Most begin their contact with “We’ve come across your book and think it can be a real seller.” That’s pretty heady. Did they actually read it? Imagine, someone in the business read my book (sure!) and thinks it’s worthwhile!
They want to place my book in fairs, sell the story to Hollywood, and get my name to the public via ads.
All pitches contain two key points. First, what they propose will do wonders for sales. Second, what they propose will cost.
When I balk, they’re happy to show me the error of my ways. You can’t make money unless you spend money, they say. No one will buy your book unless they know about your book. And the one I like the best: If you don’t want to follow my suggestion, I guess you don’t really believe in your work.
Some of the points might be valid, so maybe the offerings should be checked out. Ah, that’s the delusional thinking of a Stephen King wannabe. Although if I’m thinking it, and I have, I’m definitely not at that moment believing it’s delusional. No harm in checking prices, right?
Turns out a book fair runs to a few hundred dollars and a movie pitch to several thousand. Just a couple of days ago I spoke to a guy who felt the best thing for me was a half-page ad in a literary magazine with two million readers. The cost is only $1600 dollars but, with a 40% discount valid until the end of the month, it’s a steal at $1050. I declined to correct his math.
I’m ashamed to say that early on I bought into a couple of the lesser priced schemes. I can report the pitches made by the proponents are 50% accurate. They were right about one of the two: they do cost money. But on the other they fell short: they do absolutely nothing for sales.
Now, when I’m in the mood, I ask embarrassing questions during their unsolicited call. Like what specifically did they relish about my book. A little difficult to answer when they haven’t read what they claim to appreciate so much. Like do they realize how many books would have to be sold to break even? They consider this unimportant.
These guys, and so far the contacts have always been male, are tenacious to the max. They never let go, even when I tell them their time would be more fruitful looking for a different, well, I don’t say sucker, but that’s what I mean. When I tell them I’d fallen for similar requests in the past with absolutely no benefit, they speak on how what they are offering is different. Hah!
Having knocked what self-publishing companies do, I have to put in a good word for my latest one, BookLocker, a different animal from most. From the beginning they tell their authors not to spend any significant money on advertising; market on your own. Then they GIVE you a hundred plus page document describing all sorts of things you can do for little or no money. It has been a refreshing association.
This blog is one of BookLocker’s suggestions. Unfortunately it has not “gone viral,” even though it has been fun working on it.
The problem isn’t BookLocker’s suggestions; it’s what I started this post with. I don’t like marketing and I do like writing. So I have come to the conclusion that that’s exactly what I should do. It has been fun fantasizing for several years about appearing on the Oprah show or perhaps the PBS News Hour. Now it’s time to just relax and enjoy life. And if the urge to see my name in print persists, maybe it’s enough to achieve it through mathematics.
I’ll keep my website. I’ll keep forcing business cards on reluctant recipients. I’ll keep blogging, at least for a while. But I’ll turn most of my attention to my latest book, which I have neglected too long, with a resolve to make it even better than my others.
And I will never admit that in my dreams, maybe, just maybe, an angel will appear unbidden and take my books to the world.
No worry. Help, it turns out, is everywhere, worming out of the woodwork of my dreams. It comes from my self-publishing company, from agencies and magazine publishers that have “found” and been taken by my latest book. Most begin their contact with “We’ve come across your book and think it can be a real seller.” That’s pretty heady. Did they actually read it? Imagine, someone in the business read my book (sure!) and thinks it’s worthwhile!
They want to place my book in fairs, sell the story to Hollywood, and get my name to the public via ads.
All pitches contain two key points. First, what they propose will do wonders for sales. Second, what they propose will cost.
When I balk, they’re happy to show me the error of my ways. You can’t make money unless you spend money, they say. No one will buy your book unless they know about your book. And the one I like the best: If you don’t want to follow my suggestion, I guess you don’t really believe in your work.
Some of the points might be valid, so maybe the offerings should be checked out. Ah, that’s the delusional thinking of a Stephen King wannabe. Although if I’m thinking it, and I have, I’m definitely not at that moment believing it’s delusional. No harm in checking prices, right?
Turns out a book fair runs to a few hundred dollars and a movie pitch to several thousand. Just a couple of days ago I spoke to a guy who felt the best thing for me was a half-page ad in a literary magazine with two million readers. The cost is only $1600 dollars but, with a 40% discount valid until the end of the month, it’s a steal at $1050. I declined to correct his math.
I’m ashamed to say that early on I bought into a couple of the lesser priced schemes. I can report the pitches made by the proponents are 50% accurate. They were right about one of the two: they do cost money. But on the other they fell short: they do absolutely nothing for sales.
Now, when I’m in the mood, I ask embarrassing questions during their unsolicited call. Like what specifically did they relish about my book. A little difficult to answer when they haven’t read what they claim to appreciate so much. Like do they realize how many books would have to be sold to break even? They consider this unimportant.
These guys, and so far the contacts have always been male, are tenacious to the max. They never let go, even when I tell them their time would be more fruitful looking for a different, well, I don’t say sucker, but that’s what I mean. When I tell them I’d fallen for similar requests in the past with absolutely no benefit, they speak on how what they are offering is different. Hah!
Having knocked what self-publishing companies do, I have to put in a good word for my latest one, BookLocker, a different animal from most. From the beginning they tell their authors not to spend any significant money on advertising; market on your own. Then they GIVE you a hundred plus page document describing all sorts of things you can do for little or no money. It has been a refreshing association.
This blog is one of BookLocker’s suggestions. Unfortunately it has not “gone viral,” even though it has been fun working on it.
The problem isn’t BookLocker’s suggestions; it’s what I started this post with. I don’t like marketing and I do like writing. So I have come to the conclusion that that’s exactly what I should do. It has been fun fantasizing for several years about appearing on the Oprah show or perhaps the PBS News Hour. Now it’s time to just relax and enjoy life. And if the urge to see my name in print persists, maybe it’s enough to achieve it through mathematics.
I’ll keep my website. I’ll keep forcing business cards on reluctant recipients. I’ll keep blogging, at least for a while. But I’ll turn most of my attention to my latest book, which I have neglected too long, with a resolve to make it even better than my others.
And I will never admit that in my dreams, maybe, just maybe, an angel will appear unbidden and take my books to the world.
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