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Made for TV

6/16/2018

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I have a strange daughter, R, who has a strange acquaintance, M. They met at college, roomed together for a while, and became lifelong friends. What makes them strange? They have quirky creative minds. When together their inventiveness has no bounds—as you shall see. They also are two of the loveliest young women I have had the pleasure of knowing.
 
I made the mistake of letting them see an early draft of Math Is Murder. It was terrible. In fact, I set it aside for years before I had the courage to again attack it, and then only with the help of a coauthor. But that early draft was destined to live in infamy.
 
One day I received a book as a gift. Its title was Math Is Murder. And it listed me as the author. Inside was a printout of that dreadful draft. The back cover included recommendations by several known reviewers and an indication I was a #1 Bestselling New York Times Author. For such an author, it was a bit of a shock to discover what I received was the only copy in existence! R bears the main responsibility for the gift, but she assures me M supplied input. Beginning to see what I mean about them?
 
If only that had been the end of it, but the two had another collaboration in mind. They decided that same awful draft was perfect for a video. They searched the text for two things. First for the basics of the story in order to boil it down to a few minutes of show time. Second for the very worst dialogue that has ever been written.
 
My initial knowledge of this version of R and M’s conniving came in the form of a box presented to me. One item therein was a video tape. Clearly this was a while back. Popping it into the player I howled with laughter as my serious story of murder, in somewhat different form from the original, played out in front of me. I guess that’s what all authors say, isn’t it, the video doesn’t accurately reflect the book. What I imagine most authors do not say, but I in all honesty must, is that the video is by far more entertaining.
 
R and M had created sock puppets for the characters they allowed to remain in the tale and these puppets were the actors. Then, in typical puppeteer fashion, the diabolical R and M had crouched below the top of a table and placed the puppets above the table edge for filming while mouthing some of the most atrocious lines that have ever been written. I loved every second while simultaneously being grateful no one else had seen the manuscript.
 
The puppets were the other objects in the box. Several years ago I downsized from a large home to one much smaller. Every object was subjected to a litmus test to see if it would secure passage to the new home. The box passed without debate.
 
Lest you cross Math Is Murder off your list, I feel I must promise that the current version is a vast improvement over that early draft immortalized on tape and I am happy with it. So please don’t hesitate to investigate it.
 
Even at this point there was to be no peace for me. They, along with M’s family, decided to produce youtube advertisements for a couple of my books. You should check them out to see how I have suffered.
 
Math Is Murder is hyped at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOBRZ-Qw3gs
 
There is a character named Jim in both Math Is Murder and Murder by the Numbers. He is commemorated in song at https://youtu.be/kz7FcBqtiYc
 
An advertisement for Murder by the Numbers can be found at https://youtu.be/SKKqb_EFcVE

I just rewatched these. I am so thankful for my strange daughter, R, and her strange acquaintance, M.

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