Sheriff Joe, whose reelection bid will be put to the vote before long, stares hard at his audience and says, “Two things. First, the number of mosquitos is going down. Second, I’ve built a 20-foot wall surrounding our county that has completely stopped them.”
Some in the audience nod sagely. A few appear confused. But for the most part this is good news for the populace because they’d been having quite a time slapping the pests from their bodies and several of their friends were in the hospital.
And it relieves their minds because that stupid entomologist at the nearby university has been insisting for weeks the invasion was going to get worse, saying the bugs were breeding at an increasing rate within the county.
But Sheriff Joe says things will be better because of his wall. What a wonderful man!
He has other positive information for his people.
“I was asked by a reporter the other day.” He pauses, waiting for the requisite boos against the press to subside. “I was asked about the number of robberies in the county. I said they’ve dropped like you couldn’t believe.”
The people murmur with surprise and pleasure. One shouts, “How come, Sheriff Joe?”
“I discovered the problem was we were investigating too many complaints about stolen property, so our count was too high. To fix this I told my deputies to respond only to every third call. The number of official thefts has plummeted.”
Sheriff Joe is quite a character, good for a few laughs on our part. It’s obvious the arguments he’s using are ridiculous. A wall is not going to stop the attacks because the mosquitoes are breeding within the county, not to mention the ability to fly over the wall. And certainly not counting robberies doesn’t mean the robberies didn’t occur.
Poor Joe. There are no words to describe his lack of logic.
Thank goodness this was a poor work of fiction. It’s comforting to know this could never happen in real life.
On June 24 of this year my local paper reported two quotes by President Donald Trump.
- On a visit to Arizona, while the cases of the coronavirus were surging in the state, he said, when speaking about his precious wall, “It stopped COVID, it stopped everything.”
- Referring to the virus he said, “Cases are going up in the U.S. because we are testing far more than any other country, and ever expanding. With smaller testing we would show fewer cases!”
Oh, you might ask how Sheriff Joe did in the election. Many of the voters, in an unexpected move, experimented with the previously unknown concept of independent thinking and decided they’d been had. He lost in a landslide—to a scientist.