The election is over. I fear the future. I don’t know what will happen. But despite the dreaded upheaval, there is a constant. I noticed it immediately when I went outside to walk the dog. The neighborhood that I love is the same. As are the many pleasant folks in it whom I encounter during those canine strolls.
This is the same neighborhood I previously extolled for not placing political signs in yards. The same neighborhood where signs suddenly appeared after I had published that screed. So I know how some folks feel, but for most of my neighbors I do not.
How should I handle these connections?
What do I want?
In theory I want to maintain good relations with my neighbors. But if I knew someone had supported the orange haired monster, I feared there would always be a little voice hiding in my brain that would be saying, “He voted for the wrong person.”
I know, because that voice already has laid down a hushed background when I’m with one of “those.” Even the guy who I have praised for being a wonderful and helpful neighbor. I think, “How can he?”
So, what to do?
In a very few days I notice most signs have been removed on both sides of the political divide. Thoughtful.
I also notice that no one, with one exception, is bringing up the election in our conversations. Including me. Thoughtful again.
I begin to believe I can do this. I can maintain my good relationships within the neighborhood.
It’s important to me to do so. So I’ve instituted a policy of “Don’t ask–don’t tell.’
I won’t ask any neighbor how he voted, or even how he or she feels about the election. Instead, I’ll say, “Your lawn looks great,” or “That is the cutest dog that you have.”
And I won’t tell anyone how I voted.
Unless they ask.
I figure if they ask, they’re not being as circumspect as I would like. This happened only once by a couple not living in my immediate neighborhood but walking a lot in it. In the past they had tried to sell me something I didn’t want so I was already wary of them. The day after the election they asked how I felt about it. I was especially raw then and said, “I hated it.” They were taken aback and quickly moved on.
But when I see them now, in spite of their inquiry, I nod and say hello. And that’s the technique I’ve decided on., If I’m aware someone hasn’t voted wisely, I say nothing about it and am pleasant.
And so are they. They aren’t bad people. Maybe they’ll come to their senses. Maybe by my being nice it will foster that improved awareness. Not being nice certainly won’t.
I hope it will preserve relations in the neighborhood.
And that is worth it.
***
I hope you all have a joyous holiday season. I am taking my usual break until after the new year.
This is the same neighborhood I previously extolled for not placing political signs in yards. The same neighborhood where signs suddenly appeared after I had published that screed. So I know how some folks feel, but for most of my neighbors I do not.
How should I handle these connections?
What do I want?
In theory I want to maintain good relations with my neighbors. But if I knew someone had supported the orange haired monster, I feared there would always be a little voice hiding in my brain that would be saying, “He voted for the wrong person.”
I know, because that voice already has laid down a hushed background when I’m with one of “those.” Even the guy who I have praised for being a wonderful and helpful neighbor. I think, “How can he?”
So, what to do?
In a very few days I notice most signs have been removed on both sides of the political divide. Thoughtful.
I also notice that no one, with one exception, is bringing up the election in our conversations. Including me. Thoughtful again.
I begin to believe I can do this. I can maintain my good relationships within the neighborhood.
It’s important to me to do so. So I’ve instituted a policy of “Don’t ask–don’t tell.’
I won’t ask any neighbor how he voted, or even how he or she feels about the election. Instead, I’ll say, “Your lawn looks great,” or “That is the cutest dog that you have.”
And I won’t tell anyone how I voted.
Unless they ask.
I figure if they ask, they’re not being as circumspect as I would like. This happened only once by a couple not living in my immediate neighborhood but walking a lot in it. In the past they had tried to sell me something I didn’t want so I was already wary of them. The day after the election they asked how I felt about it. I was especially raw then and said, “I hated it.” They were taken aback and quickly moved on.
But when I see them now, in spite of their inquiry, I nod and say hello. And that’s the technique I’ve decided on., If I’m aware someone hasn’t voted wisely, I say nothing about it and am pleasant.
And so are they. They aren’t bad people. Maybe they’ll come to their senses. Maybe by my being nice it will foster that improved awareness. Not being nice certainly won’t.
I hope it will preserve relations in the neighborhood.
And that is worth it.
***
I hope you all have a joyous holiday season. I am taking my usual break until after the new year.
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